A Love Worth Fighting For

More than a year ago, I lost my marriage because I had lied for so many years about who I was, even if unintentionally. I really thought that I could save it, and I believed that it was completely worth fighting for. While I still believe that marriage is worth fighting for, and my marriage was one that I fought hard for, I am now a firm believer that my marriage was better off being retired.

Talking with a friend, she asked me what value I got out of my dating relationships since my marriage. When my marriage ended, I thought that I would never find someone who would love me as I am, much less someone worth fighting for. However, it turns out that I have learned quite a bit, and did get some specific value out of my dating relationships since my marriage.

Lena (name changed for privacy) was the first person that I met after my marriage ended. Lena was drawn to me, as I was drawn to her. Neither of us could figure out why we were drawn to the other but we were and our friendship took off quickly. The friendship went from getting to know someone to feeling like you knew them forever. We both confessed our desire for so much more, but unfortunately there was too much distance between us, and neither of us would ever have the opportunity to be near the other, so we resigned to the position that we could only be friends but never lovers.

At this point, I became content knowing that it would be a while before I ever dated again. That’s when Carey entered my life. Carey was unlike any other woman I had ever known. We had so much in common and we were so compatible in so many ways. We dated for about four and a half months before circumstances beyond my control ended our relationship. Once again I was enduring pain similar to my divorce. I never thought I would experience that pain so soon.

So when my friend asked me what value I got out of my last two relationships, I was immediately brought to these two memories. Lena gave me hope that I could be loved for who I am and that everything was going to be okay. Carey gave me a love worth fighting for.

Needless to say, if I ever decide to get married again, it will only be to a person who shows me a love worth fighting for.