FAQs

Below is a list of frequently asked questions (or sometimes statements of ignorance, more than a question) and my understanding of the subject matter and how I came to the conclusion of who I am, what I am, why I am, and everything else God made me to be and doesn’t condemn me for being me. These questions will be updated as new information is learned and brought to light.

 

Aren’t gender and sex the same thing?

No they are not.  A lot of organizations (especially their forms) use them interchangeably but they are not the same. Sex is the binary system in which society labels people usually based on their physical status according to their genitals and reproductive organs.  Gender is the binary system in which medical professionals use to differentiate between the genitals and the brain structure.

 

What do you mean by brain structure? Aren’t all brains the same?

No they are not. There is a significant difference between male and female brains.  Physically the male brain is bigger and more dense. The collection of gray matter and white matter have a consistent organization within the confines of the brain. The female brain differs physically as it is smaller and lighter and the gray and white matter is organized in a different manner. Small and large studies are finding the links between brain structure and transsexualism based on this physicality as physical males are being born with female brain structures.  Neurologically the brains are different too.  Studies have shown that chemical reactions happen in different parts of the brain based on whether you have a female brain or a male brain.  When shown pictures, different areas of the brain react based on the type of brain structure a person has. Transwomen mimic ciswomen and transmen mimic cismen in the neurological patterns of their brain.

 

The brain is where we store our thoughts and memories and can be changed. Can’t we just change the way we think and that will change everything?

It’s not that simple. There are some things that are hard-wired when we are in-utero. You do not consciously control your heartbeat or your breathing, nor do you tell your body to release your daily does of testosterone or estrogen into the body. It is also suspected that you do not control your sexual orientation and more scientific evidence is showing that you do not control your gender identity, that is the way (gender based) you perceive yourself to be. Medical professionals believe that a lot of the hard-wired stuff is located in the back of the brain while memories and thoughts are created and stored in the front part of the brain.

 

What is gender identity?

Straight from Wikipedia, which has a great definition, is the answer to your question.
Gender identity is a person’s private sense, and subjective experience, of their own gender. This is generally described as one’s private sense of being a man or a woman, consisting primarily of the acceptance of membership into a category of people: male or female. All societies have a set of gender categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of a social identity in relation to other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between gender attributes assigned to males and females. I like to think of it like this…if you were blind and deaf and had completely ambiguous genitals, how would you know if you were male or female? All you’d have to rely on is your inner sense of being.

 

What is gender dysphoria?

Gender dysphoria is a formal diagnosis used by psychologists and physicians to describe people who experience significant dysphoria (discontent) with the sex they were assigned at birth and/or the gender roles associated with that sex.  While this description is a good description from a medical perspective, this is not the actual cause of the problem.  I’ve always had issues with this name when I tell others about me because they look at it like its a mental condition that can be treated with psychological treatments, therapy and counseling, but this isn’t always the case.  Just as someone can get the flu and simply have a fever, while another person can get the same flu and come within inches of death with fever, vomiting, diarrhea and achy joints, gender dysphoria affects people in a variety of ways. Sometimes counseling and therapy is enough. It’s enough for them to acknowledge who they are and life is good. For others, it harshly affects them from birth and they can not bring themselves to even be associated with their birth sex, some to the point of death by suicide because of the sheer mental anguish.  Being transsexual or intersex is the medical condition, the dysphoria is what it can do to you to the Nth degree.

 

Is there a difference between transgender and transsexual?

Yes and no.  A transsexual is someone who identifies with the sex that is opposite their birth sex.  That is to say that their birth sex and birth gender are usually opposites and they are usually conflicted by this misalignment.  When this causes discomfort, it is known as gender dysphoria.  Transgender is a larger umbrella that encompasses other types of people including crossdressers, genderqueer, bigender, agender, androgyne, pangender, etc.  Transsexual is one small facet of transgender much like human is one small facet of mammels.  A transsexual is transgender, but not all transgender are transsexuals.

 

Cross-dressing is a sin because Deuteronomy 22:5 says, “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.“ By transitioning, aren’t you continuing to live in sin unrepentant because you’ll be wearing clothes of the opposite sex for the rest of your life?

This is a verse that has been used for a long time to condemn people who want to express themselves in clothes of the opposite sex. But did you know this is also the verse that is used to say that women should only wear dresses and never pants because pants belong to a man?

In this “Acts Eighteen” article, directly from their website, the author goes through and outlines what the words in the hebrew mean and shows that the verse doesn’t actually mean what we think it means and it may not even apply to the modern believer. It also takes into account that during the time of the writing of this verse, there was very little distinction between male and female clothing and even God used 1 word to describe the clothing for Adam and Eve (not 2 separate words because He didn’t want one wearing the clothes of the other).

Speaking specifically to the cause of “cross-dressing”, Rabbi Tilsen addresses this scripture perfectly in this article and thus there is no need to repeat what he says, other than to highlight this quote, “While the legal interpretations of this verse from Deuteronomy have been diverse, most of Jewish legal discussion has not taken the verse to suggest a blanket ban or condemnation of what today we call “cross dressing.”

If we are going to make sure we police all the cross-dressers, perhaps a more considerate action would be to also observe Deuteronomy 22:11. Is that a cotton/poly shirt you’re wearing there?

 

It says in Psalm 139: 13-14, “13) For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14) I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” and yet you say that God made a mistake, that you have a birth defect.  How is this possible?

Good question.  First, I never said God made a mistake or I have a birth defect, but some people do believe this line of thinking.  However, I know I was made exactly the way God wanted me because He told me Himself.  He had a purpose for me to be used in a manner that would bring glory to Himself as well as ease my suffering (John 9). Not to mention the other freedoms that I have experienced in Christ because of my situation, my journey and my current path which include a more thorough understanding of the character of God and what Jesus meant when He said, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.  As a scriptural side note, David wrote this psalm toward the end of his life when his enemies were criticizing him.  He was lamenting to God that he was not the kind of person they said he was.  David used a metaphorical allegory to convey the concept that God knew EVERYTHING about him and knew what they were saying wasn’t true and to make sure others knew these people who were “name calling” him were liars and slanderers.  It really isn’t about the physical way God made you, even though some people want to make it out that way.

 

If God made you this way, then He wanted you to have the body of a male and the brain of a female.  What authority do you have to change your body from what He created it to be?

My authority is straight from my Heavenly Father.
I struggled for 30 years with my transsexuality without even knowing that is what it was called.  Sure, I had heard of transsexuals, but I always conjured up images of sex perverts who changed their bodies for the purpose of more erotic sexual fantasies.  That was surely not me, so I must not be that. In February 2013, my gender dysphoria hit me like a Mac truck hitting a brick wall at 80 mph.  I found myself often wasting hours a day being consumed by the thoughts of being a woman, wishing I was born a woman, wishing my body wasn’t masculinized, hating my body hair, etc. I tried to push it away, pray it away, read my bible to get more God in me and let Him clear the sin out. When I started doing research into genetic mutations (due to my daughters own condition), I stumbled upon gender dysphoria as a possible link to genetic mutations like Klinefelter Syndrome. Reading and learning more about people with gender dysphoria was like looking into a window of my past.  Their stories and experiences were just like mine (almost to a T in some cases).  At this point, I knew something was up and I began to pray harder and wrestle with God on this.  Then one night, while wrestling with God, I asked Him the one question I had never asked before. “God, why did you make me like this?”  He answered me as clear as day and that began my journey on this path.  I believe that God made me 1/2 male and 1/2 female because he knew that in my lifetime, medical science would be able to “roll back” the physical changes in me and allow me to live both sides of the spectrum (first as male for purposes I’ve fulfilled as only a male could, now female for purposes that only a female can…especially a transsexual female).

 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “19) Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20) for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
Even if you’re allowed to change your body doesn’t mean you should.  Shouldn’t you honor the body God gave you and not change it?

This is a great analysis and place to start when it comes to doing anything. Some great achievements have been made in science because no one asked this question. Also some horrible atrocities have taken place because no one asked this question.  I did ask this very question and I even went to scripture looking for an answer that said you should never change the body you are given for any reason whatsoever.  Fortunately (for me) it doesn’t exist.  The scripture you’re referring to does not speak of medical conditions but acts that God purposed as an intimacy between committed monogamous people and not just for willy nilly pleasure, ergo, I believe, it does not apply to my situation.  What I have is considered a medical condition that I am simply choosing to treat and the most successful treatment is to transition the body from a masculinized male body to a feminized female body.  I also want to provide food for thought, for just a moment, the way people are born that we would change in a heartbeat if we could (cerebal palsy, down’s syndrome, progeria, etc) and even the ones we do change which are not even life threatening (club foot, cleft lip, replacing missing limbs). If we’re saying that one medical condition is a sin while another one is allowed to be cured, are we not just picking and choosing like the Pharisees of old?

 

You can never be a female.  You were born a male. Your chromosomes are XY so you are male and you can’t change that. Your chromosomes are not XX so you will never be female.

While there is no question here, perhaps you can tell me what we do with people born XXY, XYY, XO (45,X), XXX, XY Female, XX Male. According to your analysis, these people are neither male or female because they are not strictly XX or XY (or you would call them male even though they have breasts, vagina, cervix and uterus).  Chromosomes are not a clear cut way of determining if someone is male or female.

 

We define male and female by the reproductive organs a person has.  Testes belong to a male and ovaries and a uterus belong to a female. Without these things, humans can not reproduce and would otherwise become extinct.  This is how God wanted it to be and this is how it is.

Okay, again, not really a question, but let’s talk about testicular cancer or ovarian cancer and removing those parts in order to save someone’s life. Does a man without testicles cease to be a man?  Does a woman without ovaries or a uterus cease to be a woman?  Does a full hysterectomy remove the female from a woman?  I can see where your thinking comes from, but it’s flawed in that it can not accurately define someone as male or female, as man or woman. These people exist in the world today and if we are going to say there is only binary sex or gender, then we better be able to back it up in ALL scenarios. I personally know of intersex people who have 1 ovary and 1 testical. Reproductive organs are not a clear cut way of determining if someone is male or female.

 

The type of genitals a person has defines that person’s sex.  Males have a penis and females have a vagina. You can’t make babies without those parts. You were born with a penis therefore you are male, are you not?

Okay, all things considered, medical science is good, but you do not need a penis or a vagina to reproduce.  Doctors can implant a fertilized egg into a woman’s uterus without the penis or vagina ever coming into contact.  So that part of your statement aside, let’s talk about the genitalia. Traditionally when a baby is born, the first thing doctors look at, is what is between the kids legs to determine sex.  This is great in a majority of cases.  It doesn’t tell us one thing about brain structure, but we’ll save that for another time.  However, in some cases, a baby is born with a uterus and ovaries on the inside and a penis and empty scrotum on the outside with no opening for a vagina.  In the past, medical doctors have convinced parents to remove the penis and scrotum and surgically reconstruct the genitals to a vagina so the child will have a healthy, normal sex life.  They believed that if you called it a girl, raised it as a girl and gave it girl genitals and reproductive organs, it would be a happy normal girl.  Problem is that over 40+ years, 50% of these cases ended up either killing themselves or transitioning from female to male because they were convinced they were a boy (even though no one told them what happened).  This was a common condition with intersex people and this is how doctors eventually figured out that genitals were not the only thing that controlled whether we see ourselves as male or female and how we want to be treated.  So even if we all agreed that sex was defined by what is between your legs, the minute a surgery occurs, wouldn’t you concede that this male is now a female or vice versa?

 

Do you like guys? Do you see yourself dating and having sex with and marrying a guy?

So a common misnomer is that if you change your sex, you’re changing your sexual orientation. Also another common misnomer is that if you are actually female (or male) in your mind, then you must be attracted to males (females). The truth is that medical science is learning that gender identity and sexual orientation are actually independent of each other, even if closely coupled (see the Genderbread Person link to the right). There are transwomen who are attracted to men and there are transwomen who are attracted to women. There are transmen that are attracted to women and there are transmen who are attracted to men. While there is a set way for most of the majority of human beings, there is still a small amount of people who are attracted to the same sex as either their body or their gender identity.
As for me, and the answer to the question, I am attracted to both but more attracted to females than males (8x out of 10).

 

You’re a freak and a sinner and you are going to burn in hell for this.

Hmm. Not really a question and even worse, a harsh statement. I say harsh because it’s not true so saying something untrue about me is pretty bad.
For corrective purposes, I’m not a freak, because there are many people like me. Millions of us are living on this planet at this given moment. I “was” a sinner but that was corrected when I asked Jesus to be my personal Lord and Savior, and I choose to follow him every day. Besides, if you want to call me a sinner, you may want to read Romans 3 again (then take a look in the mirror). Burning in hell is you saying you know my fate when you have no idea what my fate is. You might have a good idea, but if you’re wrong, you’re saying I’m going to a place that I’m not, which makes you someone who is placing judgement over me. You can judge me on my works that pour from my heart all you want, but please don’t judge me on things you can not see (I don’t want you to be judged by the same standard you judge me with).

 

* NOTE: All responses to questions, and statements, are the opinions of the author based on her research and understanding. They are in no way to be construed to be actual fact that you can stake your life or reputation on. Do your own research on all the data and form your own opinion on the data.